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January 11, 2008 > Sports > From Boston to Blazers to Bill Simmons: What kind of state is the NBA really in?

From Boston to Blazers to Bill Simmons: What kind of state is the NBA really in?

By Casey Michel | Thresher Editorial Staff

One of the perks of being sports editor is that I get to decide what exactly you loyal readers will peruse while reading the sports section. And, while some people are clamoring for a sit-down interview with Roger Clemens and others may merely want to know what Dylan Farmer’s position really is, I feel that since we’ve reached the one-third mark of the season already it’s time to see just how far we’ve come in the good ol’ NBA.

Some parts of the Leastern — er, Eastern Conference have finally shed their JV status and returned to their forms of old. Following in the footsteps of their Boston sports cousins (with the exception of the Bruins, who have about as many fans as Dennis Kucinich), the Celtics have turned the East into their own personal whipping shed, running over the traditional powers of Charlotte and Atlanta without a second’s hesitation.

However, it’s not merely the “Boston Three Party” that has catapulted the East to respectability. Rasheed Wallace has tamed his temper tantrums enough to push the Pistons past the point of patchiness and into the thick of success. Meanwhile, Dwight Howard, the reincarnation of Wilt Chamberlain, is alive and well in the Sunshine State and restoring the magic to the Magic (clever, I know).

But fear not — the rest of the Eastern Conference has not yet risen from the mire of mediocrity. Well, in terms of basketball, at least. It seems that the East still tops the West in terms of underachievement (where did those beloved Baby Bulls go?) and under-exercise — only Shaq could pull off a weigh-more-than-a-monster-truck-yet-get-paid-like-a-king stunt like he’s doing now.

And let us not forget the most storied franchise in the entire Association, the Knickerbockers of New York. Led by their lewd leader, Mr. Isiah “Happy Hands” Thomas, the Knicks have brought shame upon Madison Square Garden. Not only do they own the league’s highest payroll, but so-called “stars” Stephon Marbury and Zach Randolph have opted out of playing, either literally or through on-court malaise. But at least they have one road win on the season!

However, after gaining a little bit of much-needed momentum, the Knicks recently suffered a double-digit home loss to a West power. Ok, well maybe Minnesota isn’t a power per se, but they’re at least in the Western Conference, which automatically means they’re better than half of the East. Unfortunately for the 5-(insert ridiculously high number of losses here) Wolves, they still must compete against the bland Spurs and diva Kobe Bryant.

The Terrible Texas Threesome of the Mavs, Rockets (is this the year Tracy McGrady makes it out of the first round? Um, no.) and aforementioned Spurs may have slipped a bit, but they still remain tough. And although the Phoenix Suns’ window for success is closing faster than Chris Paul on the MVP award, Steve Nash has kept up his vow not to have a decent haircut until he wins a title.

Western powers that be aside, there is one team that has taken all others by surprise. No, I’m not talking about the Oklahoma City/Las Vegas/any-place-but-Seattle SuperSonics, even though Kevin Durant is good for upwards of 80 shots a game. In fact, I’m speaking of none other than my very own Portland Trail Blazers.

With the help of future superstar Brandon Roy and UT alum LaMarcus Aldridge, the Blazers — with the third-youngest roster in NBA history — have taken the league by storm with uncomparable depth, sound play, and a coach who was undoubtedly a boot camp instructor in another life. Plus, the Blazers have what ESPN columnist Bill Simmons termed “Chemacterility” — a fancy word for teamwork — that allows them to perform like a well-oiled machine. Sans ego, boxscore-watching or old knees (not counting Greg Oden, of course), the Blazers have vaulted into first place in the Northwest Division and show no signs of slowing down.

Have I forgotten anyone? Thuggish A.I. looks purely dapper in the powder-blue Nugget threads, Stephen Jackson has yet to sell any ad space on his body and Yi, who looks like he is perpetually gawking at something in the distance, has actually shown that Milwaukee has a future.

The season may be young, and much will change between now and Finals time, but know this: The current slate of NBA basketball is a million times more exciting than anything Mike Wallace can come up with, Rocket or no Rocket.

Casey Michel is a Portland native and, despite what Stephen says, hopes no one will hire Bob Whitsitt ever again.

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